f*ck.

I really want to blog. I could make it a really funny one. However, Im fucking exhausted. So I'm going to bed. Disappointed? It happens. Want a quick pick me up? I wore a ball cap to work today to cover my hair and keep it out of my face and my boss not only called me a lesbian, she said I was the butch in the relationship. She wants me.

Well...

I started working again today, and it felt amazing. I kind of stole my sister's job, but it's all good because she would have hated it anyway. Right now I'm basically my boss's personal bitch, and I'm ok with that. I enjoyed working my ass off. The physical labor helped with my restlessness. My boss is batshit crazy, but that's ok because it helps us get along great.

Today is one of those days when I just really wish that Casey was here. Telling him about my day over webcam just isnt the same. I want to be able to relax in the tub with him and have him wash my back and rub my shoulders while we discuss the crazy things that happened today. I want to hear his laugh and see his face when i tell him about mighty mouse leaping out at me and running across my shoe. I want to see him cringe when I tell him about the jumping spider that battled me and the vacuum (and won). He should be here to tuck his princess in tonight and see her and the boys off to school tomorrow. He should be here to talk to our boys and tell them how proud he is every day they do well at school.

Enough mushy crap. Whether some people like it or not, he is my husband and I am his wife. No one else is changing that. We are HAPPY and we are still very much in love and very capable of being honest with ourselves and each other. No one else matters. If you don't like us being together, you will just have to get over it. No one has the power to tear our marriage apart but God, and he wouldn't.

Have I mentioned that my boss is a total trip? She is awesome. She doesnt care about my tattoos or my lip ring and she regales me with stories of her misspent youth. She keeps me laughing and I keep her laughing as well. This job is a welcome distraction and will help time pass by quickly. Sadly, it's only a temp job but I have a feeling this will be a fall I never forget.

As for those of you who keep on creeping, checking religiously to see if I'm blogging again, time to move on. I do this for me. Not for drama. Sic your lame friends on me (who have never met me and dont know a thing about me really) all you want to. It makes you look pathetic. Stop trying to start drama where there is none. Im allowed to say whatever the fuck I want. Don't like it? Don't read it.

Oh shit, she's back.

After a 24 day sabbatical I have decided to rejoin the blogging world. Don't like it, fuck your couch. No, I didn't get any new lines while I was away. Ask me if I give a shit! That's a big ten-no asshole. Yeah, I'm still vulgar. I taught Sunday School for the first time in years yesterday. It was interesting, especially when I had to sing and dance and then stick my hand up a puppet's ass. I suppose this blog is going to erase any brownie points I earned for doing that. Oh well, sorry I don't care. Oh wait, no I'm not! Ha.

This morning my dog decided she had enough of this super hard spoiled country life and took up smoking. As I yelled out the back door for my mother to get over her bitchy ass attitude, she yelled at me to step onto the back porch. Rori devoured my pack of cigarettes and my mother almost died laughing. Karma I suppose. My reaction went something like this..."Bitch, you just ate six dollars!" I guess she wants me to quit so I can actually run with her. Not fuckin happening. The running, not the quitting.

Friday night I went out with my best friend of 10 years. We get to the bar and have a good time. Go to leave, and someone had backed into his brand new challenger. being the far more sober of the two of us, he had me drive home. Friday night was not the challenger's night. Walking down the highway were 3 massive fucking dogs, roughly the size of small ponies. I thought ok, they will move, I'll go around. Uh no. I ran over not one, but two of them, and I'm pretty sure I clipped the 3rd. I have never hit an animal and let me tell you it was horrible. The worst part was Carveth and I couldnt stop laughing. Am I going to hell for that? Maybe. I didn't do it on purpose though, and I didnt kill them. Maybe that will redeem me. I doubt it though. There's 3 more punches in my train ticket to hades.

Hmmm...what else has happened? Oh, I forgot to tell you about george! We have a pet opossum named george now. He eats rori's food and tries to be a statue when we walk out on the deck and he's visiting. He seems real friendly, sucks for him he's gonna be opossum soup eventually.

If you're ever looking for a real good giggle, just go read the man 4 man craigslist classifieds! bahahahahaha. it inspired a new word in my vocabulary. Homoneck. it's a homosexual redneck. you're welcome for the vocabulary lesson. Now if you will excuse me, I have a facebook conversation about mushroom stamps, 250 mile dicks, and wooly women to return to.

Thought for the day:
if your face looks like a cow's ass, don't use it for your profile picture!

Oooohh, burn. Not.

I decided to blog today, but I have some writers block going on. I couldnt decide if I wanted to dignify someone's obvious insanity with a response, or blog about my wild ass life. So I'll settle for this and be done with it: Fuck your couch. Ha.

Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the
toy.