50 is right around the corner.

Have you ever had one of those days that by the end of it you are wishing you had a giant bottle of vodka to drown yourself in? No? Me either...HA. I had one of those days today. I didnt know if I should laugh, cry, scream or just shoot myself in the foot. Ok, probably not the last option, that would be a bad idea. Too much paperwork, plus it might delay my escape.

In less than 24 hours I will be in Texas with my amazing family that I have kind of under-valued at times. They are loving, supportive, and only half crazy...ok maybe more than half. But they're fun!

I was talking to my darling husband earlier and we had a fun conversation. No it wasn't sexual, get your mind out of the gutter for 2 minutes dammit. I made a crack about seeing someone around here I know he absolutely despises. I told him she is looking mighty fine lately and he said "Compared to what? A circus elephant?" Personally, I think circus elephants are awesome. He shouldn't insult them like that. Then he pointed out that in just a couple days I will be 24. As if I could forget! I have been counting down the days looking forward to my birthday for almost 3 weeks now!

Being the super duper loving and funny man that he is, he then tells me "Just think, in 26 years you will be 50." Dick. My response? "Just think, in 26 years, you'll be 61." Stick that in your pipe and smoke it. Can you feel the love here? We're fucking unique, that's for damn sure.

I suppose I should get off here and go to sleep since I have to get up at too fucking ealy o'clock in the morning. I will of course leave you with words of wisdom:
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of explosives.

8 legged freaks...battle 5000

So I'm sitting on the couch today just chillin, with my arm above my head on the back of the couch...suddenly I feel a little tickle. I flick my wrist thinking it's my hair and I feel it again, but more intense...I pull my arm down from behind my head and come face to ugly fucking face with a fucking mutant spider. I may or may not have flipped out a little bit.

After my initial freak out and slapping the spider and flinging my arms around wildly, I sit back and look for the little bastard...nowhere to be found. Well shit. Here we go again, someone get me the dish soap. I call my mom to tell her the insanity of what just happened to me and while I am on the phone my 4 year old looks at me and says in a dead serious tone..."Mom, you are a sissy baby. It's JUST a spider."

I'll remember that next time you're screaming for me to kill one you little turd. I was cleaning off the couch of all the teasures my children leave there for me to find later and I pulled back a cushion...and there the little (and by little of course I mean big mutant fuck) sat. Dead as a mofo. HAHAHAHAHA. I win. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

This is pretty much an absolutely pointless post, but I figure some of you will giggle. I swear I have felt shit crawling on me all damn day since that happened. My mind is playing cruel tricks on me now. The moral of this story is...I always win. I will squash you!

Your conscience may not keep you from doing wrong, but it sure keeps you from enjoying it.

Aw HELL nah.

It's been too long since my last blog, I am failing miserably here! I've been keeping pretty busy lately. Counting down the days until I get to visit with my family again for a week.

My thoughts tonight...when will people grow the fuck up? At what age do you really hit maturity? And why do some people never hit it at all? Maybe they are fucked up from all their issues and incapable of being adults about things, or maybe they just prefer to start drama and bullshit wherever they go. Who knows?

It amazes me the lengths that some people go to to get "dirt" on other people. Why bother? Who are you to them really? Most likely a big fat nobody. I've said it before and I'll say it again...unless you are feeding, fucking, or financing me I do not give a shit what your opinion is of me. In the grand scheme of life, you have no influence over me.

I have opinions and lucky for me God gave me a mouth to voice them with. I am not a barefoot in the kitchen 50s housewife. Fuck your couch. If you don't like my opinion, that's your issue. I got rid of the filter on my mouth quite some time ago. I have IDontGiveAShititis. Currently, there is no known cure and it may or may not be contagious. Hide your kids, hide your wife, hide your husband too cause I'm cussin everybody out up in here. ;)

Now that I have successfully gotten my vent off my chest, I will leave you with words of wisdom as usual.

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

F*ck my couch? No no no. F*ck YOUR couch.

Every night I sit down in front of this computer and open up this blog. lately, I have just had some serious writers block. I have been too tired to remember my own name, much less how to be funny. So what have I been dealing with lately? Let me fill you in...

Last week my youngest son decided it would be a good idea to throw a rock at my truck. The little brat busted out my back passenger window. When asked why he would do this, he tells me "Well mom, i didn't think you wanted your truck anymore." Really?! REALLY?! I love my truck. $300 later, it has a pretty new window...again. What is it with me and windows lately? Two windows in two months. My truck is going to go on strike if I don't protect it better. As for my rock throwing son, well, he hasnt thrown any rocks lately. Good man.

Rori has decided that the food I give her isn't enough, so she has managed to houdini herself off her chain every fucking day and drag the garbage all over the yard. When i say yard, think field. My yard is a fucking field. My backyard is a fucking cornfield. Yes, I am serious. I finally outsmarted the little fuck though. I bought a harness to replace her collar. Guess who didn't have to pick up trash today? My kids. Ha, you didn't really think I was picking it all up myself did you? Slave labor my good man, slave labor. You know it's the main reason people have kids!

Despite all the shit lately, I stay in a pretty good mood most of the time. I'm happy, probably because I am seriously looking forward to my trip to texas, but happy is happy.

I'm really missing the love of my life right now. I think about him all day every day and I can't wait to see him again. I'm ready to be snuggled up in his arms where I can let my worries melt away. I'm ready for some other stuff too, but I gotta keep this PG-13. ; )

Since it's been a while since the last time I left you with good life advice, here's a couple for the night:
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then give up. There’s no use in being a damn fool about it.

Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.

Uh ohhhhhh.

So it's been 3 days since my last blog. I'm failing you miserably. I have plenty going on, just not so much I want to put out there for everyone to be in my business. So today I shall do another get to know me thing.

1. My ex...
Used to be a really nice guy.

2. Maybe I should...
Stop smoking again.

3. I love...
This totally amazing man.

4. People would say that i'm...
A little bit nutty, but I'm ok with that.

5. I don't understand...
People that need mommy and daddy to fight their battles for them.

6. When i wake up in the morning...
I trip over my own two feet, and cuss a lot because I am normally running on 3-4 hours of sleep max.

7. I lost...
I would say my mind, but you can't lose something you never had.

8. Life is full of...
Surprises. Sometimes pleasant, sometimes ugly.

9. My past is...
what made me who I am today. Maybe you don't like who I am. Well, fuck your couch. I like who I am.

10. I get annoyed when...
I can only find one shoe.

11. Parties are...
Ehhh, it depends on what it is for. I like to have parties with my family, other than that, not so much for the party scene.

12. I wish...
For a lot of things. Right now I wish I could be done with college already.

13. Dogs...
Are a man's best friend. And woman's biggest enemy when they get into the fucking trash repeatedly. Anyone want a great dane? =)

14. Cats...
Are not my cup of tea. I am not going to be the old lady with all the cats. I'm going to be the old lady with tattoos and a pack of great danes.

15. Tomorrow...
Puts me one day closer to getting back to Texas and I am beyond thrilled.

16. I have low tolerance...
For bullshit and broken promises.

17. If I had a million dollars...
I would but some of my family members some class.

18. I'm totally terrified...
That one of these mornings I am going to wake up with one of these fucking mutant spiders trying to eat my face.

Santa is a dirty hooker.

Apparently Santa does not hibernate except for one day out of the year. That fucker steals milk during the rest of the year. Give it to him on Christmas and he just takes it any other time!

Ok, back story...I went to the store and bought a gallon of milk earlier. Came home, put groceries away, and then went to Ashley's house to let the kids all play together. I get home and decide it's a lazy kind of night so we should have cereal for dinner. I know, I'm a bad parent. Sue me. I go to the fridge to get out the milk and had a WTF moment. I was seriously doubting my sanity. The milk had been opened and some was gone.

I sent a text to Casey's cousin that lives right by me asking if he hijacked my milk. He said lol, no not me. I asked if his roommate did...nope not him either...then he says "Maybe it was santa claus. he probably needed milk for his bowl of raisin bran." Then it clicked. Matt has jacked my milk for his raisin bran before. Dirty slut.

Now I know I am not losing my mind. Ok, I really DONT know that, but I can pretend I'm not because I wasnt imagining the disappearing milk issue.

I'm counting down the days to being back in texas now. I can't wait. I couldn't run away from there fast enough a few weeks ago. I thought I was burnt out and needed a change of scenery to rid myself of the bullshit hanging around back there. Have you ever run so fast from bullshit that you unintentionally ran smack into a pile of elephant shit? I did. Now I can't get back to texas quick enough.

Everyone should believe in something...I belive I'll have another beer.

Hell Yeah!

I finished my criminalistics class yesterday. I've been waiting for my last two grades to get my final average for the class. I logged in tonight and it was posted! I couldn't look at first. What if I totally fucked up writing under the influence of five children? What if I made no fucking sense at all?! Shit.

Ok, I looked. And this is the feedback I found on my final exam that consisted of five essays.

"Hi Hailey,


The first thing I want to say is thank you so much for taking the time to be in this class. I have enjoyed having you and you have been an outstanding student. I remember you told me that this was one of the first college courses that you have taken. Well let me tell you that as a professor and instructor of detectives, you have been an excellent student and I wish that every student would communicate, write and participate as well as you have. Please continue on your path and I wish you nothing less than a great future. 100/100"

I ended the class with a perfect 100 average.

*Ahem* So, to all you hatin assholes that thought I wasn't smart enough to go to college...fuck your couch. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it. Or in your juicebox and suck it, whatever you prefer. mmmk? Mmmmk. Have a nice day!

It's all about me b*tches.

So I couldn't decide if I wanted to write about myself, or about the fact that I am having a sleepover with a bunch of munchkins tonight. We'll go with...me. Duh. So here are some little known facts about yours truly.

*I call people sunshine as a term of endearment.

*If I say things are just peachy, I'm lying through my fucking teeth.

*I like to dip my french fries in all kinds of different sauces. I like a combo of mayo and ketchup together. I also like BBQ sauce (blame that one on my mother).

*I'm addicted to the buffalo chicken deli meat from Hall's Deli.

*I could live on grilled cheese.

*If I drink any other soda but Dr. Pepper, I feel like I'm cheating on it.

*I like pie. Preferably pumpkin pie.

*I'm crazy enough to invite 5 extra kids over to my house for a sleepover as a spur of the moment decision.

That's just a few of the little facts that make up this awesome fucking person. Now excuse me while I deal with twice the normal amount of I-have-to-pee madness.

Take me seriously!

I finally called home to talk to a few people earlier tonight. I've been slacking, but fuck, I am tired dammit! I had a nice long conversation with my mom during which she laughed her ass off at me. The sad part? I wasn't trying to be funny. I was dead serious. She says that's what makes the shit I say so funny. I say...whatevah!

I told mom and my mimi about my God awful sleeping (or not sleeping) habits and how I have gotten to the point where I function better on no sleep than plenty of sleep. Their solution? Move back to Texas. Obviously my family cannot properly operate without me there to bitch slap sense into everyone. That's ok though, I like being their hero. Or the family bitch, whichever you prefer to call me.

I miss my friends and family back home. Well, most of them. The ones that don't annoy me every time they open their mouths...

My 5 year old has decided to try and blackmail (bribe, whatever) me into shipping his ass back to Texas to live with mimi. Don't get me wrong, I see the appeal and all, but...Fuck. No. Living with mimi is great, don't get me wrong. God knows I have spent plenty of my years living with her as a result of the shit I went through when I was younger. This situation is different though.

Jon told me that he will not listen to me or do anything I ask until I send him back to live in Texas. My response? Wooden. Fucking. Spoon. I am the boss dammit! I am in charge!! Unless Jessa is awake...then that Diva tries to run this shit. She actually told me today she was going to kick my butt because I wouldn't give her a binky. Gotta love having 3 boys and one girl right? Right.

Anyway, I need to work on my criminalistics final exam. I have to write 5 short essays. I'm so excited I could just...go to sleep. Not what you expected was it?

Here is your pearl of wisdom for the day:
Never go to bed with anyone crazier than you.

No. F*cking. Way.

I am currently not battling spiders...but am preparing to battle swamp thing. I was unaware that virginia had random flooding episodes. The roof is leaking in two of my bathrooms and the doors to the outside in my room and the boys room is leaking. Im not sure I could even drive my truck out of here, if I could even wade through the swamp to get to it. I should have packed hip waders, if not for the rain then definitely for the bullshit around here.

I come from a small town where everyone knows everyone else's business, but this takes the cake. I can't sneeze without 6 people telling my mother in law if I covered my mouth or not. Ok, I'm exaggerating. More like 4 people. The cell service blows, even with having two phones from two different companies. This place is a fuckin black hole.

In other news, I am looking forward to my birthday for the first time in years. It normally is a sad time of year for me but I am determined to turn it around this year. 2 nights (hopefully) in Killeen to party it up with my friends there, and then a big cookout with fireworks on the 4th with all my hometown friends and family. Life is good.

You must be smoking crack.

I am becoming more and more convinced that the people in this state are on some serious fucking drugs. I'm looking for a nanny, 24 hours a week so that I can accomplish my schoolwork easier. I found this nice girl, but she had to go and fucking ruin it this morning. Seriously. She wants $300 a week, plus $10 an hour for any overtime. Um, listen skank, I didnt pay that much for a FULL time nanny. Can this bitch even do math? I mean really, how are you going to ask for pay that equals out to $12.50 an hour, and then $10 an hour for overtime? Fuck her couch. Maybe she is from west virginia...

So the search continues for affordable and reliable child care. I just need this for the summer guys, cut me some slack! Both boys are getting back into school this fall. Now let's just pray to God that they leave the F bombs at home and don't get kicked out again...Did I mention my children are evil? Yeah. They used to cuss out their teachers at the private christian school on a regular basis. These little turds need Jesus.

I finally settled on birthday plans. I'm going back to good ole Tejas for some good old fashioned debauchery. I don't want anyone getting butthurt over my plans either! I am going to go spend two days with my K-town friends and the rest of the time I will be in B-town. If you wanna see me, you hafta find meeeeeeeee. I am not going to go chasing all over 3 counties to visit everyone. I'll be at mimi's.

I'm super duper excited. It's been a hot minute since I had a smile on my face I couldn't wipe off. Maybe I've missed home just a little bit. I'm a texas girl at heart and I always will be. If you don't like Texas, well then fuck your couch!

I'm on fiiiiiiiii-yahhhhhhhh

I just smoked my school work bitches. After a week of not being able to think for shit, I just sat down and did two essays in two hours. I may have had to break out the bullshit a little bit, but I think I did alright, for an insane person anyway.

I can't believe I am almost done with one of my classes. This is my last week of criminalistics and I must say, I will miss it. Despite driving me crazy at first, I really like my teacher. He's a cool guy. His spelling killed me a little bit, but hey, he knows damn good writing when he sees it. =)

I'm still not so patiently awaiting my corrected grade on my last sociology writing assignment. It gets annoying that my school is 3 hours behind me. Then again, it does give me until 3 am the day after an assignment is due to get it done. Ohhh yeahhh. Pimpin aint easy bitches.

I dont really have much to write about today. It's been a pretty boring and uneventful day. Time to start the countdown to my birthday and plan out the excellence that is going to take place. Go big or go home! You know how I roll.

Muah ha ha ha ha

I promised an update, so here it is. After a night and day of cat and mouse, or human and spider, whichever you wanna call it, I won. I was getting up to look for my phone charger that I apparently hid from myself and saw something in my livingroom floor next to my mirror. "That looks like a spider" I thought to myself...I crept up on it, flip flop in hand...and the mother fucker jumped. Right into the mirror, where it then had no escape. SMACK! He's dead, I win, and I didn't even have to break out the dish soap this time. Stick that in your juicebox and suck it.

Have I mentioned how much I fucking despise spiders? I swear to God, the first morning I wake up with one in bed, or crawl into bed with one of these bitches at night, I am moving. I. Am. Fucking. Moving. That is how serious this shit is to me. Fuck these creepy little eight legged bastards. "But they eat the bugs, and they keep other bugs out of the house." Yeah? So does raid, asshole. "Trap it and put it outside"...fuck your couch.

Who in their RIGHT fucking mind is going to chase down a spider only a little smaller than a tarantula that moves faster than a fucking jungle cat to trap it and put it back outside, where it will inevitably make its way BACK inside. Then you have to do the whole wash, rinse, repeat. I'm not a repeat kind of girl. Wash and rinse. Smash and trash. Hasta la bye bye mother fucker, let your demise serve as a lesson to your brothers in arms.

Another day has come and gone, so I'm another day closer to having my husband back. He wouldn't be of any service in the spider department though. He will literally scream like a woman and run like hell from a spider, even if the spider runs from him first. You want comedy? Watch my 210lb husband (who is very built, not fat) run and jump on a chair to get away from a spider. He sends our 5 year old in to kill them for him. Big brave man huh? Fight the bad guys? No problem. Kill a spider? No fucking way. I love him anyway. Tough guys have to be scared of something, right? Right.

Now I think I will take my leave. I still have a lot of homework to make my way through. I'm getting there though, slowly but surely. Here's a pearl of wisdom for you to contemplate as you lie in wait for my next blog as I did with the spider...

Whoever says words can't hurt you has obviously never been smacked in the face with a dictionary.

F*ck you and your 8 legs.

Im quite a fucking sight tonight y'all. Im sitting here minding my own fucking business when i see something creeping across the living room floor. It is a massive fucking spider. I threw back the blanket to squash the fucker and it took the fuck OFF. that bastard was moving. So I of course I pursued. I am not going to sleep while this bastard is running around. I don't want his company in my bed.

Picture this: Me running around with one flip flop on my foot and one in my hand, smash, miss. Smash, miss. Then it disappears. I jump up in the chair it went behind and look for it, no dice. Well, no spider anyway. So then I sit here in wait for it. Im currently lacking bug spray so I went for the next best thing. My gain scented dishwashing detergent. Don't judge me.

Finally the little fucker comes out. I launched an ait assault, and missed. Shit, he's gone again. Oh wait, there he is, under the desk. I aim and squirt again, hoping only to slow his ass down. Again I miss. He disappears once again and I resume my post on the couch. Then I see him creeping along the back wall under my desk. I creep over to the chair and climb up as he runs back toward it. Got you this time mother fucker. I know you're hiding under my guitar hero guitars.

Well, everyone is wrong at come point in their life ok? He wasnt there. I hit the guitar and prepared to pounce, and was disappointed. So here I sit, lying in wait. He has to come out sometime right? Cat and mouse...I will prevail dammit. Maybe. Hopefully, because that fucker is going to make me too paranoid to sleep if he doesnt meet an untimely demise soon.

I shall update when his poor life is taken. Until then, rock out with your cocks out, but wrap it before you tap it.

Hangover: Hailey Edition

I'm back to trying to get in my one blog per day. So far so good, but it's only day two. That's one day closer to seeing my husband again though.

Lately I have had so many people tell me they dont know how I am handling all that I am, how I'm not breaking down. They want to know how I manage to keep picking myself back up and dusting myself off...It's just what I do. I don't need to lay in the floor and drown in self pity. If I start to feel that way, I just find something to make me mad. Then the fire consumes me and I fight with everything I have. I was not born weak, nor was I raised to be weak.

I don't think my problems are any more difficult than the next person's either. Everyone fights with their own demons. Some are bigger than others in the grand scheme of things, but no matter the size in reality, it may seem 10 times bigger to the person dealing with it. Never undermine someone else's struggles. This isn't Mario, we aren't all trying to get the 1up.

I should be doing my homework right now, but instead I am sitting on my couch, half asleep, blogging about nothingness again. I have so much built up inside of me right now that I could easily turn this one blog into a novela, but I will keep it semi-short and not so sweet. Holy crap batman, I haven't dropped any f-bombs yet! Fuck. Ok, that's better.

This chick has a birthday coming up soon! I'm thinking a weekend getaway and a lot of debauchery. Probably drunken debauchery, as it is the best kind to have. Hookers, cocaine, and monkeys. The hangover: Hailey edition. Ok, we can leave out the cocaine because I don't and wont do drugs. I prefer hugs. Yeah, I went there. Gay huh? Anyway, I suppose that I will take my leave again to work on...well who knows.

Pearl of wisdom for the day:
A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

The bug man lies.

Do you ever have one of those days when you just want to throw every piece of technology you own against a wall and be done with it? I am having one of those days today. This place is the freaking devil for this shit. I can barely do my schoolwork. My internet will work perfectly at 2 in the damn morning when my ass should be sleeping but by God it will not work right during normal hours. My mother tells me to fix my sleep schedule. Sure, let me do that. I'd never get a fuckin thing done!

Back in texas I got pissed at the amount of little house spiders that infested my house. I got the house treated and told the guy I was moving up to Virginia. He told me oh the spiders are not near as bad there as here. Texas is the worst for spiders. Fuck. His. Couch. Sideways, upside down, running up a hill, and sliding down the grass. Fuck it. Liar liar I hope his pants catch on fire and spiders bite his toes. A "house spider" in this damn house is at least the size of a quarter with its legs out, if not a bit bigger at the best of times. They're sneaky too, and fucking fast, AND the mother fuckers JUMP. Imagine me half chasing a spider to smoosh it with my shoe. At the dinner table. Yes sir, that shit happened.

I need pills for my ADD shit. I can't decide what I want to do. Blog, unpack, or do my homework. I am bouncing around doing it all and of course as a result my house looks like a tornado hit it and I can honestly say it wasnt the kids for once. Well, except in their room. It was allll them in their room. Possibly the dog too. I'd be lyin if I said I know who is responsible for any of that mess. Speaking of dogs, I am fairly certain my daughter is really a puppy. She pees in the floor, bites her brothers, and chews on the furniture. Maybe I should put some newspaper down and wipe her brothers down with tabasco sauce. Then again, CPS would probably frown on that so I guess I'll pass.

I need to have been a parent 30 years ago when kids acted right because they knew their asses would be beat down for popping off. Again, wooden spoon, FTW! Unfortunately my wooden spoons are packed away somewhere. Damn this moving shit! When I get back to texas, I am going to refuse to move again. If we HAVE to move, I will call up some house movers and sit on my couch while they drive me to wherever we are going.

It's been a hot minute since I handed out my daily advice, so here it is ladies and perverts:
Junk is something you keep for years and then throw away three weeks before you need it.

Well shit.

Its been a couple days since I wrote but damn I've just been having too much fun. My cousins have been in from texas and I gotta show them a good time! Better than a two cent hooker on b.o.g.o night!

I've been making it alright. Ive got a couple of amazing friends and family members here for me and at least they have the good sense to act like adults. I've got people trying to bring me down left and right, but what else is knew? If you aren't feeding, financing, or fucking me then in the grand scheme of planet hailey, you don't matter that much. I'll add emotionally supporting me to the 3 f rule. So if you aren't doing one of those, fuck your couch. I don't care about your opinion.

Have you ever been to washington dc? Have you ever been lost in dc? No? Try it sometime. But make sure and do it with 3 kids in the car. Patience is running low and threats are not working. Even with my giant cousin issuing them.

We've had a good visit this weekend. My closest texas cousins got to meet my closest virginia cousins and its been one hell of a redneck style good time.

As my cousin jamie tells me, I'm a fucking rock and I can make it just fine here. She also tells me to finish unpacking my boxes instead of going to out too, so obviously she's at least half cracked. Unpacking is no fun y'all! Besides, no point in unpacking since she's already convinced I'll move in with her within a month.

I'm a lucky lucky girl to have the people in my life that love me and they far outweigh the haters. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

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Who am I?

I decided today I will give you the rundown on who I really am. Obviously you know I am a wife and mother. I am a sister and a daughter. I am more than that though. Here's more about yours truly.

* I cuss when I'm mad and even when I'm not.
* I will take dr pepper over any other soda in the world.
* My favorite color has been blue since I was a kid. I'm not fickle. It doesn't change.
* I will always be anti-gnome. I refuse to even buy the movie gnomeo and juliet because of this.
* I will always feel more at home in my big blue truck than any sports car you can put me in.
* I will always speak my mind, whether you think I am supposed to have one or not.
* I will never bow down to popular opinion. I don't need to be popular with anyone but my husband. And as long as I show him my boobies, we are good to go.
* I don't believe blood has a damn thing to do with family bond.
* I like pumpkin pie.
* I would rather freeze my ass off than burn up when I am inside. This is why I keep 4 million blankets.
* My dog annoys me to the point that I want to let her off her leash and leave her outside sometimes. Unfortunately, she doesnt understand how to run away.
* I am honestly not much of a drinker. If you catch me drinking a lot it's normally because I am pissed off about something.
* I'll take a bud light over any other beer any day thanks.
* My hot baths are my sanity. Fuck with my me time and I will injur your face.
* I say fuck your couch a lot. Sometimes jokingly but mostly always seriously.
* I hate packing and unpacking.
* Spiders creep me out.
* So do polish people.
* That last one was a joke.
* I have met Satan, and she likes to wear mini skirts.
* I don't throw in the towel unless it is what I want. I dont let other people or their actions dictate what I do.
* Even if I want to fall into your arms and cry my heart out, I wont.
* I'm just me. A 23 year old girl who grew up way too fast.

I don't really have any advice for you today. I'm making my way through my own personal hell one day at a time and praying things go by quickly.

Jesus h christ.

For the record, I have my big girl panties on. Hard shit gets thrown my way, I turn it into a fucking joke. Oh I wanna cry? I turn that into a joke too. You wanna get me down? Fuck your God damned couch.

Have you met me? Maybe. Do you know me? That's probably a ten fucking negative ghost rider. I've hit my point where I really do not give a flying fuck. Welcome to my world bitches.

I am responsible for me. I dont need a bodyguard or a babysitter. I handle myself thanks. I don't get butthurt and I don't cry like a little bitch to get my way. I'm me. If you don't like me, turn the other fucking cheek. I'm about to rock your whole God damned world.

This is me. I just don't fucking care.

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