Obviously I don't know what lies your mother really told you. This one is more for my kids. Yes, that's right! Mommies preach and preach about "how wrong it is to lie"...yet we are totally liars. Oh you don't lie to your kids? Santa Claus. That's what I thought.
1. Bell peppers are not really a key ingredient to Pizza Hut's sauce. I just want you to eat your veggies, dammit. If that means I have to blend them into your pizza sauce, spaghetti sauce, and random other foods to get you to eat them, I will. I will also lie through my teeth to get you to eat it. But honey, it's for your own good! You're welcome.
2. "I'm going to sell you on ebay!"...Obviously by now (if you are reading this), you know this is a lie. It's illegal! I don't want to spend my days in Martha Stewart's old jail cell defending my virginity....again.
3. There are not hidden cameras placed everywhere in our house, cars, outside, at the neighbor's house, at your Gigi's, Mimi's...or anywhere else really with the exception of restaurants and department stores. I know you're lying because it is written all over your guilty little faces. Never underestimate a mother's knowledge of her child.
Those are the main ones I can think of that I have told you in the past 48 hours. I'm sure there will be a need for part 2 eventually, but you wont be reading this anytime soon, so maybe I will wait until you hit the teen years. I'm betting there will be a whole new set of lies I have to come up with for that precious time in your life.
Oh, by the way...that wasn't lettuce. It was spinach. HA!
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