So after two blissful weeks with my husband, I am now back in the blogging world. Two weeks of sleeping next to my husband, waking up next to him, and of course, having crazy sex with said husband. Jealous? You should be. He's a sexy mother fucker. Literally, seeing as how I have popped out children and all that good shit. OMG, there I go being vulgar and shit. Ask me my dear if I give a damn!
It's absolutely no secret that Case and I hit some serious rocks on the river of marital bliss...but for those of you who were rooting for us to not make it...well...I hate to disappoint you...oh, wait, no I don't! Ha. Fuck your couch. Not only are we staying together, but we are stronger than we were before. Dont like it? Tough shit. I'm pretty sure you will get over it eventually. That goes for anyone. Friends, family (on either side), stranger danger...you lose.
I had to take him back to the airport today so he can go finish playing G.I. Joe half a world away. We played our usual airport game and it was nothing less than abso-fucking-lutely stellar. It's the "guess what kind of underwear people are wearing" game, and we kind of rock at it. We get detailed with this shit, and pretty sure there was at least one chastity belt running around there today. Simply Amazing.
I know people joke about the "fashion police" a lot but seriously, they need to fucking exist. Women, regardless of your size, no one wants to have to stare at your ass crack hanging out of your fucking pants. Also, muffin tops are so last year. I only say this because I care...ok I'm lying again. I say it because it looks like shit. Men, seriously...what the fuck is up with men having mountain man beards and walking around in fucking hawaiian print button down t-shirts with what appears to be indiana jones hats on? I mean really? Give me a fucking break. Ditch the hat, buy a razor, burn the shirt. That is all.
Insomnia is kicking my ass again, surprise surprise. Oh well, my creativity hits me most when Im delirious from lack of sleepy time. My eyes are starting to droop though, so I think it's time for me to give my sheets some ass and my pillow some head. Have a fabulously fantastic friday y'all!
Something you should never say to your wife when she is in labor: "You don't have the guts to pull that trigger."
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