Run and tell THAT!

So recently I was informed that my blog language is nothing less than absolutely vulgar. Actually it was more like Casey was informed because God forbid someone actually come to ME about a problem they have with ME! Madness! What do you people think I’m going to do? Suck out your soul with a hot pink swirly straw? It’s possible. But for real yo, I don’t know how many times I have to say this…but I. Do. Not. Give. A. Flying. Blue. Monkey. Shit. What. You. Think. Run and tell that, homeboy. If I need to dumb it down and give it to you in layman’s terms, I can try. However, I am not fluent in stupid so don’t get butthurt when I can’t make you understand. Hide ya kids, hide ya wife, hide ya husbands too cause I’m offending everybody in here.

So to be absolutely vulgar (I hate to disappoint!) I know I informed y’all about my red sex shoes. These shoes are AMAZING (now read that again and imagine the halleluiah music playing in the background for the word amazing). If you’re on my facebook, odds are you have seen the pictures. Not naked pictures though. God forbid. I know I would be going to hell for sure for that one. Of course I’ve already been condemned for having my own opinions and not taking shit from stupid people. Lawd have mercy! People forget this isn’t the fucking fantastic fifties anymore!

Back to the sex shoes. They are definitely erection inspiring. Just ask casey. I thought he was gonna lose it when I put them on and showed them to him. Yeah, I went there. Oops. Sorry I’m not sorry! Talking about my sex shoes is for cousin Jamie- the best bad influence I’ve ever had! Ha. Seriously though, Jamie was my savior in Virginia. If it wasn’t for her, I would have probably lost my mind and my temper on more than one occasion. I know a couple of you Virginia people read this blog and like to use it to stir shit up. Only thing I have to say to you is…well…get over it. It’s time to cut the bullshit and grow the fuck up. I don’t go around trying to stir shit up for you and obsess over your life.

I know I am a pretty interesting fucking person. Have to be with the size of the fan club I have that likes to keep track of me. ;) Sorry I’m not sorry that I’m so fucking awesome and interesting! Anyway, I should be writing my final exam papers so I guess I’ll get back to that. You may now return to your regularly scheduled life.

Words of wisdom for the day:
Real good Christian people don’t judge. They don’t try to destroy other people’s lives, and they don’t pick and choose which rules of the bible to live by. Hypocrisy won’t do you much good when you get to the pearly gates. Sitting in church every Sunday does not guarantee you a spot in heaven, you have to actually live like a Christian Monday through Saturday as well.