Im quite a fucking sight tonight y'all. Im sitting here minding my own fucking business when i see something creeping across the living room floor. It is a massive fucking spider. I threw back the blanket to squash the fucker and it took the fuck OFF. that bastard was moving. So I of course I pursued. I am not going to sleep while this bastard is running around. I don't want his company in my bed.
Picture this: Me running around with one flip flop on my foot and one in my hand, smash, miss. Smash, miss. Then it disappears. I jump up in the chair it went behind and look for it, no dice. Well, no spider anyway. So then I sit here in wait for it. Im currently lacking bug spray so I went for the next best thing. My gain scented dishwashing detergent. Don't judge me.
Finally the little fucker comes out. I launched an ait assault, and missed. Shit, he's gone again. Oh wait, there he is, under the desk. I aim and squirt again, hoping only to slow his ass down. Again I miss. He disappears once again and I resume my post on the couch. Then I see him creeping along the back wall under my desk. I creep over to the chair and climb up as he runs back toward it. Got you this time mother fucker. I know you're hiding under my guitar hero guitars.
Well, everyone is wrong at come point in their life ok? He wasnt there. I hit the guitar and prepared to pounce, and was disappointed. So here I sit, lying in wait. He has to come out sometime right? Cat and mouse...I will prevail dammit. Maybe. Hopefully, because that fucker is going to make me too paranoid to sleep if he doesnt meet an untimely demise soon.
I shall update when his poor life is taken. Until then, rock out with your cocks out, but wrap it before you tap it.
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