Do you ever have one of those days when you just want to throw every piece of technology you own against a wall and be done with it? I am having one of those days today. This place is the freaking devil for this shit. I can barely do my schoolwork. My internet will work perfectly at 2 in the damn morning when my ass should be sleeping but by God it will not work right during normal hours. My mother tells me to fix my sleep schedule. Sure, let me do that. I'd never get a fuckin thing done!
Back in texas I got pissed at the amount of little house spiders that infested my house. I got the house treated and told the guy I was moving up to Virginia. He told me oh the spiders are not near as bad there as here. Texas is the worst for spiders. Fuck. His. Couch. Sideways, upside down, running up a hill, and sliding down the grass. Fuck it. Liar liar I hope his pants catch on fire and spiders bite his toes. A "house spider" in this damn house is at least the size of a quarter with its legs out, if not a bit bigger at the best of times. They're sneaky too, and fucking fast, AND the mother fuckers JUMP. Imagine me half chasing a spider to smoosh it with my shoe. At the dinner table. Yes sir, that shit happened.
I need pills for my ADD shit. I can't decide what I want to do. Blog, unpack, or do my homework. I am bouncing around doing it all and of course as a result my house looks like a tornado hit it and I can honestly say it wasnt the kids for once. Well, except in their room. It was allll them in their room. Possibly the dog too. I'd be lyin if I said I know who is responsible for any of that mess. Speaking of dogs, I am fairly certain my daughter is really a puppy. She pees in the floor, bites her brothers, and chews on the furniture. Maybe I should put some newspaper down and wipe her brothers down with tabasco sauce. Then again, CPS would probably frown on that so I guess I'll pass.
I need to have been a parent 30 years ago when kids acted right because they knew their asses would be beat down for popping off. Again, wooden spoon, FTW! Unfortunately my wooden spoons are packed away somewhere. Damn this moving shit! When I get back to texas, I am going to refuse to move again. If we HAVE to move, I will call up some house movers and sit on my couch while they drive me to wherever we are going.
It's been a hot minute since I handed out my daily advice, so here it is ladies and perverts:
Junk is something you keep for years and then throw away three weeks before you need it.
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