I had a lot of funny stuff in my head I was going to blog about earlier, but seeing as I have sometimers, I kind of already forgot. I fail epically. I've had three doses of crazy today and I think that might be a record for one days worth.
I made my rounds here in my hometown saying goodbyes but I know I still missed a couple people. I love all of you though! Well, some of you. Others I barely tolerate on good days. If you got this link directly from my facebook page, rest easy little one, I like you. Maybe. Bahahahahaha.
This morning I got a phone call at 9am from my husband. It kind of made my day. Not 2 minutes after answering the phone though, the doorbell rang. Oh shit! It was the movers. I catapulted out of bed and rooted through the laundry in a daze trying to find pajama pants and continue my conversation with my husband at the same time. I found them and put them on. During my mad dash downstairs I realized...oh shit, I'm not wearing a fucking bra. The girls were free to roam the yard so to speak.
I managed to simultaneously cross my arms over my chest, hold the phone to my ear, and open the front door all at once. The guy looked a little scared when I opened the door. I probably would have to. I continued to have my simultaneous phone conversation and assured the mover man that yes, I would find my keys and move my truck. First thing first...I needed a bra. I made another mad dash upstairs where I continued my phone conversation with my husband, peed, found real pants, put on a bra, and then made a mad dash back downstairs to move my truck.
As I was walking out of the bathroom, I turned and looked in the mirror. O.M.geeze. My hair was literally sticking out in every direction imaginable and I had a mildly crazy look in my eyes. Ok, it really bordered on flat out insane. I smoothed my hair into place and went downstairs to move my truck and face the movers with as much dignity as I could muster.
An hour and a half later, I was a hot sweaty mess from loading my truck. I went to the bathroom to pack up my last minute shit and had another OMG moment. I was wearing a white t-shirt...with my black and hot pink lacy bra...that you could see through my shirt. That might explain why I felt like I was getting funny looks.
I am pretty much past the point of having dignity anymore. I mean, I've given birth three times with a room full of people looking at my vagina. Yes, I said vagina. Grow up people. This concludes my lovely ramble of the day. Hopefully you have enjoyed a glimpse into the life of a slightly crazy army wife.
Your advice for the day:
When your children get unruly, use a nice safe playpen. When they are finished, carefully climb out.
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