That's gooooood toilet water.

This goes back to why do I have kids. I cooked a damn good dinner tonight, and my heathen children are thoroughly enjoying it. Mostly my boys. I'm still wondering what possessed me to have children though. I mean, look at me. I have about as much class as a white trash whore getting passed around the room. How the hell am I supposed to teach my kids manners? Boarding school in switzerland?

Don't get me wrong, I didn't count them out before they had a chance. But put me in boy form and make me just a tad disgusting, and you have my kids. As I'm fixing jake his second plate of food in the kitchen he comes up to me and says dang mom that's some good stuff, followed by a massive fart. Classy right? Don't fart in the kitchen I tell him. Jon says yeah jake you're supposed to fart in the living room. Jake proceeds to go pass gas right by his daddy's chair. Better than the kitchen I suppose.

Last week my nanny caught jake giving himself a swirly, complete with flushing. Why? Who knows. Then again, if you'd ever met his biological father you would probably understand. Between me, his father, and his daddy, the kid is doomed to be a redneck smartass. He's gonna make a mighty fine husband one day.

Back to dinner tonight. The boys always get water with dinner. As I'm finally feeding the dog her dinner I hear jon slurp down the last of his water and go, that's some mighty good toilet water right there, can I have some more mom? Toilet water? Really? Where does this kid come up with this shit?

I'm pretty sure my kids are going to turn out just like me. Scared? I am.

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